mind is just going to all the bad places tonight. Being alone is good in this case. No one else has to suffer with me.
every achievement in cinema history has led up to this moment
#that time that michael jordan retired from basketball to play baseball #and then was bad at baseball so went back to basketball #and in order to celebrate his return to basketball #we made a movie in which he teams up with 50 year old cartoon characters #to defeat the space aliens who magically stole the mojo of other famous basketball players #and planned to kidnap these 50 year old cartoon characters #so the cartoon characters who literally never played basketball in any of their cartoons #were like clearly the only way to settle this is with a game of basketball #and just when all hope seems lost #bill murray who has literally only been in one other scene in the movie #shows up completely without explanation #and no one questions it #and doesn’t even do anything to help the team like he literally just shows up to pass the ball to michael #and then michael jordan slam dunks the ball from half court to win the game #and someone in hollywood read that script #and was like yes perfect no changes need to be made let’s get this project going #i don’t believe in god #but i do believe in space jam
Here’s An Idea I Had About Batman
So as you may already be aware, I like Batman a lot, which means I think about Batman all the time, and ever since I started writing comics, I’ve been thinking about what I would do if I could do a Batman story. That’s pretty common, right? I mean, surely everyone has a Batman pitch in their back pocket just in case it ever comes up. One of mine, the one that I think could actually work really well, was The Batman of the 30th Century.
The basic idea comes from two things: One, that the Legion of Superheroes is founded as a Superman spinoff, which means there’s a lot of Superman legacy stuff that shows up over the years, and there’s a lot of Flash stuff that shows up from XS, Impulse and the Tornado Twins, but there’s nothing in the Legion’s future that indicates a legacy for Batman. (There’s also nothing involving the Wonder Woman legacy, but, you know, that’s a discussion for another time.) And yet, if you skip ahead to the 853rd Century of DC One Million, the Batman legacy is definitely alive and well.
Second, and the reason it’s so weird that there’s no Batman tie-in for the Legion, is that there actually was a “Batman of the 30th Century.” His name’s Brane Taylor, and he appears in a one-shot story in 1954. It’s not all that obscure among people who read a lot of comics, and with creators’ love of tying things together, it seems mystifying to me that there was never a reintroduction of that character as part of the Legion’s future. Maybe it was the name? “Brane” is, to be honest, kind of awful. But it’s all there, and looking at it as a fan, it seemed natural that you could tie it together. The only thing that you’d really need would be to tweak Brane so that he’d fit in with the teenagers of the Legion, and when I saw (and bought the original art for) Cliff Chiang’s Gatchaman-inspired “Science Ninja Hero Batman,” it all seemed to fall into place. I really wanted it to have a strange feeling of the retrofuturism of the original Legion and its Silver Age roots along with Batman’s darker, more modern aesthetic (there’s a lot of the Morrison run in this, for instance).
So I thought about this for years, and I ended up mentioning it to J. Gonzo, the artist of La Mano Del Destino, and he really loved it and wanted to draw it, and came up with a few ideas his own along the way — Robin and Bat-Mite were his ideas, and I love ‘em. We ended up making a full pitch document with character designs and summaries that I think is really cool, but at the same time, I know that there’s a roughly zero percent chance that it will ever actually happen. So we showed it around to a few people, and now I’m sharing it with you. Enjoy!
HERCULES IN THE 2ND GIF OMFG
THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY IMPORTANT THOUGH
Hercules is THE DEFINITION of a gentleman. Her dress strap slips down and HE PUTS IT BACK UP because he’s like “No, she’s a lady, she deserves my respect. Control yourself. Leave, just leave.”
Imagine if all guys/girls had that much respect for people they were attracted to…the world would be a lot better and safer, I can tell you that.
Also have to remember he’s never had a girl actually hit on him before.
2nd gif: #zeUS TAKE THE WHEEL #I NEED AN ADULT #WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS
if zeus took the wheel this would have ended much differently
HEY WHATS UP?! WANNA BANG??!!